Monday, 17 June 2013

****** THIS BLOG IS DORMANT ******

This blog in now an archive and will no longer be updated.

See here -

Monday, 14 January 2013

Friday, 11 January 2013

a journey through the heart of a pig

I'm delighted to announce the first test run came off the printers yesterday & they look extraordinary.

Still time to pre-order before the mid-January release .

Order from -

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Billionth Bill

All that comes through my letterbox are Bills, Bills, Bills. MMXIII

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Friday, 4 January 2013



A novella by Johnny Lloyd.
 Artwork by Hayden Kays.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Here we go again

Buy Buy Christmas Spirit, MMXII

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

This is what a feminist looks like

The Hand You Hold Should Not Hold You Down, 2012

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Vulgar Vulva

Tacky, MMXII

(Yesterday was spent sculpting a vagina from Blu-Tack gleaned off the back of phone box calling cards)

My first kiss

My first kiss was was spectacular.

I'm convinced that if you were able to magnify my eyes you would discover hidden behind the veils of my eyelids fireworks that matched the explosions in my ears & vivid gushing of my blood. The most perfect kiss of my life.

Roast Beef Monster Munch i love you x

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Thursday, 16 August 2012


We Are Simple, Complex, Generous, Selfish, Unattractive, Beautiful, Lazy, & Driven, 2012

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Dead To Rights

Keep Left Right-hand Man, 2012

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

War Is All You Need

Jihad It Up To Here, 2012

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Let The Game Begin

Let's Talk About Sex

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Sex, 2012

Monday, 30 July 2012

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Come on! Come on!

Come on Hayden. That's not Art. 2012

This piece is dedicated to a journalist (that shall remain nameless) who said
 "Come on, Hayden. What you do can't be called art".

Pretty sure that is exactly what i call it.

Sunday, 15 July 2012


Made You Look Made You Stare, 2012

Fully Booked

They say everyone's got a book in them. Ouch, 2012

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

A Kiss Goodnight Or Goodbye

In bed without you (bed shown to psychological scale), 2012

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Outstanding In A Field

Fucking In Tents, 2012

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Don't be fooled they are here to replace us

You've Got To Feel Old To Know What Feeling Young Is, 2012

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

What do gay horses eat? Hayyyyy......den

I Was Going To Make This Title A Gay Pun...Butt Fuck It, 2012

Monday, 30 April 2012

Hirst Aid Kit

The Crunch of a Butterfly Wing is a Pretty Horrendous Thing, 2012

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Wheel of Death

A Rainbow Of Chaos, 2012

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Monday, 16 April 2012


I'm thrilled to announce i have been chosen as the official Artist-in-residence at 


Come & celebrate Bruce Forsyth’s 70th year in showbiz…x

If you want to collaborate, congratulate or complain-

Thursday, 12 April 2012

This Morning this morning

I love This Morning. 
When i was younger i imagined a time when i would be invited to appear as a guest on the show, as i’ve grown i’ve realized the likelihood of me ever doing anything worthy of an invitation is extremely slim- so i’ve had to settle for fabricated stories about binge eating.
Where there’s a will…x

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

In Between Dreams

I dropped acid once & never found it again, MMXII

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Baby Love

A baby is nature's opinion life should go on, 2012 

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Friday, 16 March 2012

Ready, Steady, No

I've Started So I Won't Finish

Monday, 12 March 2012

Space to Space

Dull And Void, MMXII

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

You Win Some You Lose Some

Guess Who? Got killed in Afghanistan
Image courtesy of BBC NEWS

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Can't Cancel Cancer

Cancer Is A Word, Not A Sentence

Saturday, 28 January 2012

I Could Eat A Horse

I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

:| P R I N T R E L E A S E |:

In A Gentle Way, Shake The World

Monday, 23 January 2012

Brand New

I'm The Lead Singer Of The Brand

Friday, 20 January 2012

Fade To Black

Please Wait Here

Monday, 16 January 2012

Thursday, 12 January 2012

The Artist

Anything You Can Do, I Can't Do Better

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Spot The Difference

Spotted Dick Painting

Monday, 9 January 2012

Modern Toss

The likeness is uncanny!


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